“Oh Mom. God would be good if there was cancer,” she replied, sitting against the metal slatted headboard of the hospital bed. Her voice held that daughter to mother tone of reproof, and I pulled back from my embrace to find her, rather than exuberant, completely sober and in earnest.
It took an entire week of agonized waiting after the brain biopsy for the inconclusive findings. But when the white-coated doctor entered with cautionary optimism, I heard only, “no cancer was found in the brain tissue.”
I didn’t hear what it didn’t answer. I had deaf ears to his ominous predictions that there still could be cancer, or something else even worse. I had no inkling of all the sorrow that lay ahead around a bend I couldn’t yet see. I didn’t know the impact an inconclusive result of an undiagnosable brain stem lesion would have on all our lives.
But in that moment, in that little speck of hope, I bent over and put my forehead against my daughter’s forehead and gulped for air, as if I’d held it suspended for a week.
“Oh Charity, God is so good,” I breathed. “There is no cancer.” Because all the prayers of this mother for the last week went into that begging plea.
“Please don’t let there be cancer, God, please don’t let there be cancer.”
And as she sat there so vulnerable, with her young husband by her side, it seemed that all the prayers of a lifetime had been answered, until I heard those words.
“Oh Mom, God would be good if there was cancer.”
Because you see, she was right. God is God. He is intrinsically unchangeably good.
Regardless of the answer to my deepest prayers, God would prove Himself good. Not cancer, nor any other dreaded circumstance could shake or mutate His goodness.
In the months and years following, I often reminded myself of that truth spoken from the lips of a very sick young mommy with a baby and a two-year-old.
I revisit that reality every Thanksgiving, perhaps because thanks gets pretty shallow around the table at times. And as I think of all the things for which to be thankful…food, family, and friends, and then, I have to go back. I must remind myself that in the happy, but also in the sad, God is good.
As we list our gratefulness rarely do we include that flat tire, our health scares, a loved one gone, or the trial for which sleep flees. Yet, it is when the storm rages, in the turbulent waves that crash about, thanksgiving is the purest.
“Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.” (Hebrews 13:15 ESV)
I’m pretty sure that for some of you, this Thanksgiving will mean offering a sacrifice of praise. Your thanks will be given with gritted teeth in faith. For you can’t yet see through the blackness, the uncertain future, or the deep pain.For some of you, this Thanksgiving will mean offering a sacrifice of praise. Share on X
“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me.” (Psalm 50:23a ESV)
Affirmation of His goodness, even when it comes from a well of deep suffering is a precious sacrifice to God.
Paul and Silas had little to feel thankful for after being beaten and thrown into prison. But, in Acts 16:23-25, we find them in a dank prison, held in stocks, praying and singing hymns to God. And while the other prisoners listened surely they heard a marvelous sacrifice of praise which testified of a good God worthy of all praise. Always.Affirmation of His goodness, even when it comes from a well of deep suffering is a precious sacrifice to God. Share on X
This may be a season in which you draw your breath with tears, when the tunnel is long and the path dark, but as you look at the wonderful and the terrible of a past year remember, “Oh child, God is good even if.”
We had no idea that day, when we thanked God that there was no cancer, that real thanksgiving would become a long test in which the Father loved us faithfully. We didn’t yet recognize His embrace in the beginning of a trial that would change us all forever. And we couldn’t imagine how deepest thanksgiving often flows from a wrenching altar of sacrifice.
This Thanksgiving, as you offer praise and gratitude around the table, don’t forget to search out the gold that glints, perhaps just faintly, in the darkness. For from the sacrifices of praise comes the profound realization that God is enough. And He is indeed good.
Tony Vanderlaan
God is good all the time. What a wonderful reminder of being thankful for all things. Both the good and the bad are all part of God’s plan for each one of us. He sees the entire picture that we barely see.
Cheryl Balcom
This was so good, Sylvia. We forget that God is unchanging, that his goodness doesn’t depend on our desires. Now I’m curious about what happened to your daughter? I’d love to read the whole story. 😊 ?
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. ❤️
Don Pahl
Perhaps the deepest knowledge of God comes in the darkest moments of life when we simply, devoid of sufficient understanding, acknowledge his goodness, his holiness, his majesty, and his limitless sufficiency!
Thank you, Sylvia. God continues used your family’s experiences to lift up the fallen and to glorify himself!