Somewhere in the middle of dodge ball tag and baking cookies with three grandsons, my youngest grandson cocked his head to the side and asked, “So Grandma, what do you two do here all day long?”
And as I looked down at him, red-faced and panting, echoes of that question dittoed through my mind. I’ve been asked it before. Lots.
“What do you do all day?” people asked of a stay at home mom.
“What do you do all day?” my Italian friends probed in my missionary days.
“What do you do all day?” ministry senders asked as if our livelihood depended on it, which it did.
“What do you do all day?” church audiences inquired as we presented a missionary care ministry.
Even when I feel like I have so much to do that I hardly can take the time to breathe, I’ve always found a need to describe exactly what I do…daunting, and… maybe a bit, annoying.
Although perhaps the answer to it has never felt more inexplicable than when a half-pint-sized round-eyed boy, who calls me “Grandma,” posed the question.
I realize that for many, I have little to show for what I’ve done in my life.
Most jobs are immediately understandable by their label and title. Worth immediately establishes, and money proves it. Clocked hours and careers verify it. But most of my life, my roles have been difficult to define, leaving me sometimes feeling “less than,” and in the process lowering my value.
We all want recognition for hard work and heart passion. But our value is often tangled up in things we do rather than the people we are.
As my grandson and I walk inside to prepare cookies, that whisper of the Spirit nudges me with a deeper and even more uncomfortable question.Our value is often tangled up in things we do rather than the people we are Share on X
“Who do you work for, Sylvia?” Because, that is the bigger matter. It begs a bit of examination and surrender.
God looks at us differently than people do. His evaluations look past all the outward and reach into each heart. Deep down where even we can’t see, His Spirit probes.
My husband assures me I do work, and heavens, I feel like I do, but every time I’m asked what I do, there is that momentary falter.
As I embark on a new month, a new year, and new plans, I pull, as I often do, from the wisdom of the Apostle Paul. He reminds me Who I work for and why.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24 ESV)
I may spend hours meeting deadlines, mentoring couples, discipling others, hosting and just you know, the never-ending-work of living. And those may offer a modicum of satisfaction and reward.
But, to a little boy waiting with a sideways cock of his head, what does it all matter? What answer does he want or need?
The value I put on what I do must be subservient to the value of Who I do it for, and the “why” with which I do it.
Living daily as God desires, doing what He calls me to do, regardless of its recognition, brings value to His kingdom. And that matters.The value I put on what I do must be subservient to the value of Who I do it for, and the “why” with which I do it. Share on X
So, with another flip of the calendar, it’s good to be reminded. Because the greatest reward or motivation for each of us should be, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)
My grandson stands on a stool for counter height while globs of chocolate cookie dough roll between his hands, sticky and dark. “What do you do all day?” he asks again.
I pause before that little puckered face and think, “What of true value have I done today that will matter in eternity?”
There is a bit of silence except for the sound of mushed and mutilated muddy sweetness squeezing in his fist. He waits for my answer. Somber expectant ocean blue eyes hold mine.
“Well, sometimes,” I finally answer, “I make cookies with a very special grandson.”
He wrinkles his forehead, as if that maybe doesn’t actually count. And kind of like, maybe, I should know that’s not a good enough answer.
I’ve had that sort of response before.
Then he lifts and drops his shoulders with a shrug. He gives me his million-dollar-worth-every-minute, and-all-the-money-in-the-world-smile and slaps down his dough.
But I’m certain, in that moment, that it was really the very best of answers.
Laura Lee Leathers
Excellent article! I too, have been asked that question many times. I would feel guilty or ashamed that I didn’t do what other people expected of me.
This was my favorite statement:
“The value I put on what I do must be subservient to the value of Who I do it for, and the “why” with which I do it.”
Blessings beyond measure,
Sylvia Schroeder
Laura Lee, thanks for chiming in! We’ve talked about this before in our writing worlds where comparison is far too easy. I needed this jolt back to consider Who I work for. Thanks for the encouragement! Loved hearing from you!
Don Pahl
Our value, Sylvia, is in our worth as human beings, not as human doings. God loves us as the very special work of his hands. Thanks for a great reminder today, Sylvia! 😊
Sylvia Schroeder
Thanks Don! I may borrow that one. Our value is in our worth as human beings, noat as human doings! I love that!
Sue Vogt
We have a 54 yr old son that still asks that same question each time he calls Lloyd! “What are you doing dad?” We are retired! It is very cold here now! What do 80+ old people do? Thank you for your article! Appreciate it so much.
Sylvia Schroeder
Oh Sue! Made me laugh! I can hear it, I know that question so well! (And it is even cold here!) I’m so glad you enjoyed the article. So fun to hear from you!
Susan Terragnoli
Being a ministers wife for almost 45 yrs, our paths have taken us many different places. And, as your wonderful post says- I ask myself the same question- what HAVE I done? Nothing to brag about on an obituary😀 But I always just did , behind the scenes, whatever had to be done-Ashdod led me.
Thank you for this- a true blessing. And a great reminder who our Gentle Shepherd is.
Sylvia Schroeder
A ministers wife would have had that question a lot! And I’m sure you did a lot behind the scenes As God Led! I’m so grateful you enjoyed the post and thanks so much for sharing!
Susan Terragnoli
Being a ministers wife for almost 45 yrs, our paths have taken us many different places. And, as your wonderful post says- I ask myself the same question- what HAVE I done? Nothing to brag about on an obituary😀 But I always just did , behind the scenes, whatever had to be done- as God led me.
Thank you for this- a true blessing. And a great reminder who our Gentle Shepherd is.
Rebecca Powell
Wow!!! Can I ever relate, Sylvia! I often ask myself that question. Also, I’ve often said that I get tired of trying to be this or be that…I just want to BE! Thanks to Don Phal for his reminder that we are human BEings, not human doings. Blessings on this cold, winter day. ❄️🩵🙏🏼🩵❄️
Sylvia Schroeder
I know, right! What a great statement that we are human BEings, not human DOings. I’m glad I’m not the only one who wears thin on the doing!
Audrey Polichnia
As a church-planter pastor’s wife (now retired), I faced that question as well. Since I also worked secularly to supplement our income, my answer was never really simple. Looking back, it would have been easier, as you said, if I’d kept in mind Who I actually worked for. Thank you for reminding me there’s a lot of us struggling for an easy answer!
Sylvia Schroeder
Thank you Audrey for your years of serving as a chuch-planter paster’s wife. Those difficult to explain roles are so very important in God’s eyes, and I’m so grateful He sees! I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for joining in with your thoughts!
Tony Vanderlaan
Thanks,great message and a question that we all have been asked over the years. I think sometimes these questions are asked so that we know how to respond when we face our Lord in eternity. My prayer is that He will say, “well done good and faithful servant.
Sylvia Schroeder
Tony, what a great thought…so that we know how to respond when we face our Lord in eternity. That is what it is all about. I too long to hear “well done, good and faithful servant.”
Lyn McDiarmid
I dare not show this to my wife. She is 74 and with 3 kids and 10 grandkids, works harder than anyone I know but does not earn money for it. One day at church she was asked by a younger man “So how do you fill up your days?”
You are totally correct that it is who we work for that matters more, but for a moment sinful nature takes over when we get asked that. Thanks for the reminder.
Sylvia Schroeder
Lyn, I hope you do show this to your wife for her value is great in the eyes of our Lord. I want her to know that! Especially because our sinful nature does take over when asked that question!
Linda Lou Brucato
I have tears in my eyes thinking of that sweet boy and all he can become because his Grandmom makes cookies with him! If only there were more grandmoms in this world who would “do” loving and guiding children, we might just see our world changed for the good!
Sylvia Schroeder
Linda, thank you. With grandkids farther away, I know what a blessing it is to be near some. But even when they are far, what a ministry to be able to bring them to Jesus in prayer. Not a bit of that is wasted either!
Katherine Pasour
I remember the days before I retired when I thought retirement granted time to travel, garden, learn new skills, write novels, and have a spotless house. Ha! Was I ever fooled! On any given day it seems I “run” all day long and accomplish very little. But when my grandson smiles at me for fixing a toy or reading a funny story, I think, “This is what matters.” Loved your message, Sylvia.
Sylvia Schroeder
Yup. It’s a different kind of servanthood! The rewards are often sticky and messy, but all in all, pretty delightful!
Marilyn Krehbiel
Excellent, as usual, Syl, we as wives, support, encourage our husband’s. Then if God gives us children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, er r busy just prayin for em all. These are eternal souls we love, teach, encourage, play with. Oh My!…the list goes on. What a privilege to serve our LORD in the place He has placed us!!! Many blessings on ur dys!!!
Sylvia Schroeder
You are so right. It is a privilege to serve in the place God has placed us. There are times I need the reminder! Thanks Marilyn! So good to hear your thoughts!