By the time I post this, our big family-grandson-wedding-get-together should be a thing of the past. Hopefully it will be laced with precious memories. At this stage with kids, grandkids, spouses, and great-grandkids, we expect somewhere around 30 together in one big rental. There will be a lot of comings and goings, and plenty of chaos.
All of it will pause and hush at the great “I do,” between grandson-to become-husband and new grand-daughter-to-become-wife addition. It will be teary through smiles, and joyous in promise.
My husband and I do not take any of these blessings lightly. It is humbling and fulfilling. As we prepare, and oh my, the preparations multiply with the numbers, I’ve been considering the expectations. Expectations can be such joy killers.
My mind paints most of my great expectations with brush strokes of happy faces and thankful hearts; the hand-in-hand, skipping in the park kind of pictures. I envision lively conversations around lovely meals. Games on the table, tourist attractions, and outside water fights.Expectations can be such joy killers. Share on X
But, I’ve done this enough to also picture red-faced hot stressed cooking, leftover half eaten pizza, and clean-up by the garbage bags. It’s not my first rodeo, if you know what I mean. There will be babies crying, overturned plates, and bloody elbows. I expect these too. There will be the off-hand remarks that bother and the unmet expectations of almost 30 souls with ideas and opinions on everything from menu to activities.
I remember when we had a part in helping missionaries prepare to go to foreign fields. We incorporated experiences from our own culture shock and some of the bruised and unreasonable expectations we’d had, into our training. We wanted to prepare those young “go-ers,” and soften expectations with some gentle reality checks.
As we talked to one young husband and father, he remarked, “Oh I have no expectations. That way I can’t be disappointed.”
As you read that, you likely already recognize how very unrealistic it is, and even how foolish.
- Job, in the Bible, had expectations of his children’s futures and the continued blessings of prosperity.
- Paul expected Barnabas to agree with him in ministry.
- The disciples expected Jesus to set up an earthly kingdom.
But though some expectations fall short of our best dreams and leave wounds, there are others that turn the ship into harbors of joyful-better-than-wildest expectations.
- A lame man hoped for a coin at the temple gate, and although Peter and John had no money, by the power of Jesus, the man received much more. He was healed.
- A thirst parched woman at the well expected a quick drink, and met Jesus who offered eternal Living Water.
- Martha, disappointed that Jesus didn’t come in time to save her brother, witnessed Lazarus walk out of the tomb four days after he died.
Expectations are part of life and even when we try to prune and shape them well, they show up scraggly and untamed when they are unmet.
Jesus spoke often of what to expect after He would leave this earth.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ESV)
I admit, that in the prequel of our one-enormous-family-get-together chapter, expectations have me up at night. I fear some of the details and logistics. I worry about forgetting something important, and yes, I try to pre-mitigate the expected chaos.
At the same time, I anticipate joy at seeing my children and their families. I look forward to conversations, connecting, and spiritual encouragement.
But a little dread of all the dire possibilities, its worry and anxiety crop up now and then to steal that joy. I think about traveling family members, physical dangers, health issues, and of course the sacrifices all of them make to come together.
Will they find it life giving or exhausting? Will it drain finances and energy or fill their souls? Will it meet their expectations?
Before it happens is the best time to anchor my expectations in a Person rather than in the big beautiful thing about to take place.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV)
This is where I need to be now and what I need to remember then. This is the way expectations are laid down.
Humble before God reminds me of the posture Jesus desires. It anchors what is most important in our gathering. It invites me to let go of worries and give them to Him. It assures me that He cares not just for me but also for all those most precious to my heart. And it affirms that He is the only One who faithfully exceeds all expectations.
You may not be on the cusp of a big-loud-family-get-together, but I’m pretty sure expectations knock at your door too. This is life. And, perhaps my reminder is applicable to you. The best way to manage expectations is to acknowledge Jesus holds the future in His loving hands. He is enough, even when I lack. He is bigger than whatever is ahead.
I can hardly wait for warm little bodies to nest onto my lap, tummy giggles, knee-high hugs, and my cheek is yearning for messy slobbery kisses. These are some of my expectations. I think it’s safe to say, they won’t disappoint.
Kim
Thank you, friend! This is the reminder I needed today!